Things to do at Various Places
by Isame Kuroda
Summary: Do not think about this to hard. Just laugh while you still can.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach**** or Kamen Rider****.**

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**"Annoying Things to do in a Computer Lab"**

**[1] Log on, wait a second, then get frightened look on your face and scream, ''Oh my God! They have found me!'' and bolt.**

''What are you looking at Matsumoto?''

''Hmm, oh nothing captain, I just though I saw someone who look familiar.''

**[2] When you computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can get the darn thing work. After he/she has turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, and repeat the process for a good half hour.**

The manager gave Tatsuki a salary raise even though she had wrecked the computer and sent the man to the hospital.

**[3] Type frantically, often stopped to look at the person next to you evilly.**

Kousuke thought that the orange-haired teen, with his black and gold eyes, was a phantom. The following fight between the Substitute Shinigami and the Beast was epic enough to cause Kenpachi Zaraki to set his eye(s) on the Ancient Mage.

**[4] Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret Pentagon files.**

Urahara flipped his fan open and smiled behind it.

**[5] Type on VAX for a while, suddenly, start cursing for 3 minutes about everything bad for about your life. Then stop and continue typing.**

Orihime gave the man a look of sympathy and to make him feel better, she relied to him about her life, which somehow mutated into her having an adventure in the Leek land together with a talking cat, strawberry, pencil and teddy bear to rescue a princess.

**[6] Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.**

''_Bankai: Haka no Togame_''

The bunny saved, but the same thing could not be say for the rest of Karakura town…

**[7] Light candles in pentagram around your terminal before starting.**

Ichigo stared blankly at the gothic girl before walking away and muttered under his breath.

**[8] Enter the lab, undress, and start starring at people as if they are crazy while typing.**

Unsurprisingly, Yoruichi brought it to another level.

**[9] Draw a picture of a woman (or a man) on a piece of paper and tape it to your monitor. Try to seduce it. Act like it hate you and complain loudly that women (or men) are useless.**

— And, that was the story of how Keigo Asano, Nitoh Kousuke and Nara Shunpei became friends.

**[10] Sit and stare at the screen, chomping your nails. After doing this for a while, spit them out at the feet of the person next to you.**

Asakura Takeshi was not amused. ''You vexed me.''

That night, Venosnaker, Metalgelas and Evildriver have a feast.

**[11] Attempt to eat your computer mouse.**

''UCHUU KITAAA''

**[12] Quietly walk into the computer lab with a Black and Decker chainsaw, revving up, and then walk up to the nearest person and say ''Give me that computer or you will be feeding my pet crocodile for the next week.**

Unohana smiled.

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**Thank you very much for reading! *bow gratefully***

**English is not my native language, my Deepest ****Apologies**** for any incorrect grammar and tenses you find. Please tell me what you think.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach**** or Kamen Rider.**

* * *

**"Annoying Things to do in an Elevator"**

**[1] When there was only one person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it was not you.**

Ichigo's training went out to good.

**[2] Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong one.**

''Do not ask me question.''

**[3] Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.**

Gentarou made many new friends that day — including the plant pot in the elevator.

However, Byakuya was not pleased.

**[4] Move your desk into elevator, and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.**

Urahara set the space wrap device instead, connecting the elevator with the entrance to his candy shop.

**[5] Challenge people to duels.**

Kenpachi grinned.

— Nnoitra grinned.

— Grimmjow Grinned.

— Minato grinned.

— Asakura grinned.

— Ikkaku grinned.

Then, he started dancing.

**[6] Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.**

Byakuya should have known better, but he still fell to the trap of the Demon Cat. He and Renji were nursing a sore back for an entire month.

**[7] Leave a box in the corner. When someone gets on, ask him or her if his or she can hear ticking.**

Orihime defused the 'bomb' by rejecting the poor box out of existence.

**[8] Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.**

Phillip was fascinated and Shoutarou face palmed.

**[9] Ask, ''did you feel that?''**

Ichigo scowled. He knew he sucked at sensing reiatsu, but no need for Ishida to rub it on his face.

**[10] Stand really close to someone and sniff him or her occasionally.**

Captain Komamura was _very_ uncomfortable.

**[11] Call out ''Group Hug!'', then reinforce it.**

Kengo turned away from the elevator, leaving Gentarou alone, who busied hugging with — _a very naked_ — dark-skinned woman, an anthropomorphic wolf and a giant.

**[12] Recite gangster rap lyric in monotone.**

Turned out, Ichigo was quiet a talented rapper.

**[13] Ask everyone on the elevator, ''Are you my mother?''**

Ukitake gave the poor man a lot of candy…

**[14] Practice Kung Fu.**

— And that was how Soi Fon started K.E.T. A.K.A 'Killing in Elevator Training'.

Omaeda caused the elevator to go out of commission every times it was his turn however. Good things he was rich.

**[15] Do Yoga.**

Hachi made a new friend.

**[16] Ask someone if he or she have an extra pair of underwear with him or her. Tell them it is because you have a disorder that causes uncontrollable bowel movements whenever you stop or start moving suddenly, and you forgot to pack your ''elevator panties''.**

Eiji happily gave the man his 'tomorrow'.

**[17] Bring a pack of ice; build a small igloo on the floor.**

Rukia lent a hand.

Since then, the building had a moving refrigerator.

**[18] Shout ''Food Fight''**

Kagami stared in confusion at the man cowering in the corner and stared at Tendou as if the man was a Grim Reaper coming to take his soul.

''Tendou, what did you do?''

The self-proclaimed strongest rider merely pointed his index finger skyward. ''Grandmother said this: there are two things that a man must never do. One is not to make girls cry.'' He said. ''The other is not to handle food so crudely.''

**[19] Have a heated debate with yourself.**

Ichigo did not even trying.

**[20] Say ''ring ring,'' then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.**

Kumon Kaito was not amused.

**[21] Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering ''Shut up, all of you, just shut up!''**

Ichigo looked at the man with sympathy.

**[22] Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror. ''You are one of them!'' and back away slowly.**

Hitsugaya quickly erased the distraught man's memory for both his sake and protecting the secret of the afterlife. However, he wondered how someone with zero spiritual pressure could know that he was a Shinigami…

**[23] Hold an auction.**

''Next, we have Kuchiki Byakuya exclusive photo book limited edition! Let us start with five hundred thousand yen,'' Urahara said from behind his fan.

The Kuchiki Byakuya photo book limited edition went to the SWA. They were bankrupt that day, but it was worth it.

**[24] When the door close, announce to the other, ''It is okay. Do not panic, they open up again.''**

Ishida panicked.

**[25] Swat at flies that do not exist.**

Hiyori swatted Shinji's face instead.

**[26] Walk on with a cooler labelled ''HUMAN HEAD'' on the side.**

Seven peoples needed to restrain Ishida from turning Kurotsuchi into pincushion.

**[27] Stroke your chin and ask other passenger to tell you about their mothers.**

Turned out, Ichigo was not the only one with a sob story. Ishida was too.

**[28] Sell Girl Scout cookies.**

Why that pink-haired girl gave her evil eyes…?

**[29] Greet everyone coming in as if they were your best friends. Use the same name for all of them.**

Gentarou _loved_ elevator.

**[30] Pitch a tent on the floor, and ''camp out'' for the weekend.**

Haruto tiptoed away before Mayonnaise could notice him.

**[31] Challenge people to duels.**

''_COME ON_''

''_BANANA ARM_''

''_KNIGHT OF SPEAR~_''

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**Thank you very much for reading! *bow gratefully***

**English is not my native language, my Deepest ****Apologies**** for any incorrect grammar and tenses you find. Please tell me what you think.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach**** or Kamen Rider****.**

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**[1] As often as possible, skip rather than walk.**

Ryutaros did a moonwalk instead.

**[2] Tell your boss. ''It is not the voices in my head that bother me, it is the voices in your head that do.''**

Zangetsu(s) and the Taros were confused that day. What had they done to make Ichigo and Ryoutaro scolded them?

**[3] When leaving the zoo, start running toward the parking lot, yelling ''Run for your lives, they are loose!''**

Ichigo turned to the Quincy ''Ishida…''

Ishida had somehow made a simple gesture of adjusting his glasses looked menacing. ''Do not look at me like that. It is not my fault this time.''

From behind them Tsukasa piped up. ''And neither am I.''

**[4] Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.**

Natsumi used 'Hikari Secret Technique: Laughing Pressure Point' on Hirako, causing him to laugh uncontrollably.

Hiyori begged Natsumi to teach her.

**[5] Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)**

Urahara was flatter at first… but now, it was just downright creepy.

**[6] Ask people what sex they are.**

''I know you are offended, but is that necessary, Ishida?''

''Of course it is.''

**[7] Finish all your sentences with ''In accordance with the prophecy.''**

The peoples began to believe that Nemu was an Oracle…

**[8] Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.**

What was worse than the 11th Division? The 11th Division that was high on caffeine.

**[9] Encourage your colleagues to join in a little synchronised chair dancing.**

The commentator shouted. ''The competition between 'the second strongest of the 11th Division' and 'the Man Who Stand On top of Synchronised Chair Dancing' are intense!''

**[10] Do not use any punctuation.**

Hitsugaya was not amused.

**[11] Reply to everything someone says with, ''that is what you think.''**

''Ishida, for your own good, stop rile up the other Sternritter.''

''That is what you think.''

* * *

**Thank you very much for reading! *bow gratefully***

**English is not my native language, my Deepest ****Apologies**** for any incorrect grammar and tenses you find. Please tell me what you think.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or Kamen Rider.**

* * *

**[1] Scream loudly for no apparent reason.**

For some reason, Inoue's scream terrified Ichigo…

**[2] Give someone a coin, saying ''Heads, I detonate the bomb. Tails I do not.''**

Ichigo decided knocking the man out was the best option.

**[3] Explain how, one time, the plane was crashing and the oxygen masks did not come out because they are not really reliable, and that if the plane was to crash, everyone would die.**

Chad and Ichigo had to restrain Momotaros from strangling Kaito.

**[4] Describe your sex life in detail to the five-years-old next to you.**

There was no five-years-old, only eighty-years-old-who-happen-to-look-like-ten-years-old.

To this day, nobody knew how or why the plane's temperature suddenly dropped so low, turning the entire plane into a refrigerator.

**[5] Snore loudly and drool on the person next to you.**

Another proves that Godai Yuusuke was the Supreme Warrior.

**[6] Do the chicken dance.**

Ankh was offended, so, he teaches the man how to do the correct chicken dance.

Keigo was traumatised.

**[7] Start a food fight.**

Tendou used '_Hyper Clock Up_' to go back in time and prevented the abhorrent act to ever happen.

**[8] Bring a novel and read the book aloud.**

Ichigo was grateful that it was Shakespeare instead of Twilight.

* * *

**Thank you very much for reading! *bow gratefully***

**English is not my native language, my Deepest ****Apologies****for any incorrect grammar and tenses you find. Please tell me what you think.**


	5. Chapter 5

******Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach**** or Kamen Rider****.**

* * *

**"Things to do in Public Library"**

**[1] Read aloud, Very loud, and slowly.**

''_Ryuta please stop!_'' Ryoutaro pleaded. ''_The librarian is glaring at us._''

''I can't hear you~''

**[2] While pointing to a simple word, like 'the', ask the person next to you if he/she can pronounce it.**

''Excuse me Sir, do you know how to pronounce this?'' Kusaka Masato pointed at the 'L' alphabet at the English dictionary.

Ichigo glanced at it and said. ''Its pronounce 'El'''

**[3] While looking at your book, turn so you are facing a person, then, peer over the top of your book and say ''PEEKABOO!''**

Never try to surprise one Kurosaki Ichigo. His father trained him better than any Pokémon Trainer could ever be.

**[4] Put down your book, and look over and start reading the other person's book and either 1) say ''Oh, nice book'', or 2) when he/she look at you, quickly pick up your book and act like you are reading it.**

''Oh, nice book''

Nago Keisuke put down the book he was reading. He sent the man his best glare and said in a barely contained fury. ''With all due respect Miss, you are wrong. This book is nothing but nice. This book is an abomination given form. Burning every single copies of this abomination and throwing its writer into its fiery pit will do the world Justice.''

''For once I have to agree with you.'' Taiga nodded solemnly. ''We, Fangire, do not sparkle.''

**[5] Suddenly look over at him/her, and say, ''you are one of THEM!''**

''If you meant by 'them' are the Wandenreich, I assure you, we are not a group of Nazi-wannabe.'' Uryuu said, adjusting his glasses. ''We are an Elite member of the World Tailor Association.''

**[6] Put down your book and look at him/her. When they says something like, ''what?'' cut them off by saying, ''Are you accusing me of something?''**

''Yes, I do.'' Hidari Shoutarou stood up from his chair, fixing his bowler hat dramatically before pulling out a black USB device from his vest. ''Ichimaru Gin, you are guilty for breaking Matsumoto-san's heart and other things you do in the name of revenge or just for the hell of it, now,''

[_Joker_]

''Count up your sin!''

**[7] Read your book — upside down.**

''Hirako-taichou, that book in your hands… you are holding the evidence that the Wizard World really exist!''

**[8] Read your book from left to right and flip the pages the same way.**

''This is Japan. This is the least odd things you will find.''

**[9] Flip the page every two or so seconds.**

Orphnoch were a _very_ fast reader.

**[10] Pick up your book, put it down, and say ''Wow, that was a good book.''**

''Tsukasa-san, you are not even open the first page yet.''

''I am a _faster_ reader.''

**[11] Read silently, and then, as if speaking to the character in your book, say, ''No! It is a trap! Do not do it!'' Then, turn to the person and reply solemnly, ''He did it'' when he/she look at you.**

Tachibana Sakuya would not be worry at all if it was someone else… but this was the one and only Urahara Kisuke. The Eccentric Shopkeeper might have invented an alternate dimension-hopping device when no one was looking.

**[12] Turn to the person and ask, ''Have you ever experience Déjà vu and amnesia at the same time?''**

''Maybe'' Tsukasa turned to Shouichi ''what about you?''

Shouichi shrugged and grinned sheepishly. ''I forgot.''

**[13] Start arguing with yourself, then when he/she look at you funny, say, ''Oh, I am sorry. I was just telling my subconscious to be quiet.''**

''Have you try going to the centre of your mind and fight with it directly?'' Ichigo inquired.

**[14] Sit down, and then say to the person next to you ''Hi! My name is (…) and I am glad to meet you.''**

''Are you my Zanpakutou spirit?''

**[15] Ask him/she if he/she knew there are eddies in the space/time continuum.**

''I do not know about eddies, but there are many owners — though, I only have met two of them, though, they denied that they are a same person.''

**[16] Ask him/her what species he/she is.**

''I am a human.''

''I am a Shinigami.''

''I am a Fangire.''

''I am the Last Quincy.''

''I am an Orphnoch, but I prefer to be a human.''

''I am a Phantom.''

''I am a Hollow.''

''I am Kurenai Wataru.''

''I am a Wizard.''

''I am Human/Shinigami/Quincy/Hollow/Fullbringer hybrid.''

**[17] Every so often, yelp in pain, and look at your feet.**

Uryuu blinked at the tiny, red Oni imagine under the table ''Momotaros? Is that you?''

''Of course it is me! Who do you think you *censor*!''

The Quincy sighed ''Tell me what happen.''

''The *censor* bird happen!''

**[18] Bring a bag or purse, and peer into it and say, ''Got enough air in there?'' or, ''Settle down in there. I am trying to read!''**

Ichigo zipped his bag back and shoved it under the table before returning to his book.

''Please let me out!'' Kon cried out. ''I promise I will behave! Just show me where the erotic section is!''

**[19] Ask them what their name is, and then, when they start to reply, cut them out by saying, ''No, it is not!''**

''Oh, I am going to enjoy cutting you to piece…'' Hollow Ichigo, AKA the Real Zangetsu, sneered, brandishing his zanpakutou.

**[20] Every time the person next to you turns the page, make a strange sound or a beep.**

''Wow Kadoya-kun,'' Orihime's big brown eyes shone with amazement. ''Where, did you learn how to do that?''

Tsukasa smiled. ''Police Academy''

**[21] Announce the page number each time you turn the page.**

Ise-fukutaichou's book was thicker than Yachiru expected.

**[22] Spell every single word as you read it.**

''I-N-F-I-N-I-T-E-I-N-M-Y-S-T-E-R-I-E-S-I-S-T-H-E-G-I-F-T-O-F-T-H-E-G-O-D-D-E-S-S''

''P-L-E-A-S-E-B-E-Q-U-I-E-T-T-H-I-S-I-S-A-L-I-B-R-A-R-Y-N-O-T-A-C-L-U-B-H-O-U-S-E''

''D-O-Y-O-U-K-N-O-W-H-O-W-H-Y-P-O-C-R-Y-T-E-T-H-A-T-S-O-U-N-D''

**[23] Chew gum with your mouth open, and smack your lips while reading.**

''Stop that please, or I will call Kitazaki.''

''I thought he was dead''

''No, he is still alive inside a soccer ball. Last I heard, he hang out with Phoenix.''

''Oh, those two are made for each other.''

''Yes they are — now, shut up.''

**[24] Sneeze a lot.**

''_Sorry_ Aizen, but I think I am allergic to your *censor*.''

**[25] Hold your book right next to your eyes.**

''Do you lost your glasses Sir?'' Kido Shinji inquired with worry. ''Can I help you finding it?''

Thinking there was no harm to it, Uryuu decided to accept the offer.

Boy, he was wrong.

**[26] Every few minutes, get up out of your chair, walk around the table, and sit back down.**

Rukia had had enough.

''_Bakudou #4 Hainawa_''

**[27] Stand up, and continue reading.**

— And that was the story of how Chad mistaken as a bronze statue.

**[28] Make a strange sound every few minutes, and then act as if you did not do it.**

Tachibana Sakuya shook his head and ignored Keigo's antique.

**[29] Bring a bag of cat food, and start snacking on it.**

Orihime gave the man a look of sympathy and offered to share her lunch with him — an omelette leek with bean paste and pudding sandwich…

**[30] Bring a box of crunchy cereal, a bowl, and a spoon, then dig in messily, and crunch on it.**

[_Silence, please_]

Haruto sighed contently and returned to his reading.

**[31] Ask them, ''Got milk?''**

Kido Shinji would love to help. If he could heard the things you were saying.

**[32] Fall out of your seat, then say, ''I meant to do that.'' Then, do it again — and again.**

Daiki Kaito decided to 'help' the poor fellow.

[_Invisible_]

**[33] Bring a laptop, turn up the sound, and play a very noisy game.**

Kumon Kaito went berserk at the sight of Flappy Bird.

Haruto, and his sleep ring, came to the rescue.

**[34] Wear too many sweaters, and complain how hot it is.**

''Here, let me help you with that.'' Rukia smiled sweetly.

The next day, the news channel informed the world about a mysterious summer snowstorm that hit Karakura town. This brought the attention of the S.H.I.E.L.D, which then sent their agents to investigate it…

**[35] Put down your book, then say, ''Hey, do you want to trade?''**

One glared from Byakuya. That was all.

**[36] Bring a recording of very obnoxious music and hide it in a bag. Turn it up full blast, and accuse them of having it. Keep accusing them, and then get the librarian to come. When they find it in your bag, yell, ''IT WAS ALL PLANTED ON ME I TELL YOU! IT IS NOT MY FAULT! IT IS A GOVERNMENT CONSPIRACY! ALIEN BEAMED IT INTO MY BAG! IT WAS BECAUSE I DID NOT LET THEM DO EXPERIMENT ON ME!''**

Ishida Uryuu spent a month in hiding from the agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

**[37] Without looking away from your book, say to no one in particular, ''I know what you did last summer.''**

The Karakura Quartets were nervous that someone knew about their jaunt in Soul Society.

While Todoroki wondered how the man knew about his job as Oni.

**[38] While reading your book, start humming a single note until you are out of breath, then collapse on the floor. Then, get back up and continue reading like nothing happen.**

Who would have thought that Ankh, or rather Shingo, could hold it up for more than one hour…

**[39] Instead of your laptop, bring your entire computer!**

''Is something happen to the 12th Division?''

**[40] Start singing ''this, is the song that never ends…''**

Kurenai Otoya sang 'This Love Never End' instead.

**[41] Bring a recording of popular song. Play it on headphones quietly, but sing along very badly. Then proudly say to the person next to you, ''I took singing lessons!''**

Haruto cup his hand behind his ear. ''What, did you say? I cannot hear you!''

**[42] State proudly that you have been to the 'other' side. Give no explanation.**

''How, many times did you go there?'' Ichigo inquired. ''I have been there thrice — not including the fillers and fan fictions.''

**[43] Suddenly grasp your heart, let out a wail, and fall to the ground. Then get back up as if nothing happened.**

''So, is this the alien again?'' Hawkeyes inquired dryly.

**[44] Collapse on the floor, then, get up as if nothing happened. When the person next ask what is wrong, look at him/her with inquiring look on your face, and say, ''What do you meant?''**

Ichigo's Substitute Badge chose to scream obnoxiously right at that time. He quickly pressed it against his chest and ran out of the library, leaving J.K to stare in confusion at his empty shell.

**[45] Say, ''It always start so weird, and they do it so weird'' when they ask, ''what?'' say, ''Oh, sorry. I am back now.''**

Sitting in this library, Ichigo felt like the most normal person in the entire world.

Two of the rouge Orphnoch trio shared the same sentiment.

**[46] Do the old cancan dance on the table.**

Every male in the room flinched.

''Now, I know why only women ever do this dance…'' Ishida muttered. They gave the poor man, who was curling on foetal position on the floor while nursing his groin, a look of sympathy.

* * *

**Thank you very much for reading! *bow gratefully***

**English is not my native language, my Deepest ****Apologies**** for any incorrect grammar and tenses you find. Please tell me what you think.**


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